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Friday, October 7, 2022

The Stoner’s Guide to Survive an Electrical Blackout in 2022

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Note: Keep in mind that most of these tips are ONLY for urban stoners (like me) who have only seen rural life in photos. If you live in a very small town far from the city, I am sure you have many resources and the necessary knowledge to be able to survive as if Rambo were on vacation in Palm Beach.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave or on a lost island in Papua New Guinea, you’ve probably heard the disturbing news from Europe: Serious power outages are likely to happen… not only in Europe, but all around the world.


The Austrian Ministry of Defense has launched a campaign to educate its citizens on how to act in case the entire electrical system of the country collapses for about two weeks: We are talking about a large blackout that would have been caused, according to experts, for various reasons:

1) After the lockdown moments due to the global Coronavirus pandemic, many factories have decreased their production rate, and many of them have even stopped their activity completely. Most of these factories that produce almost everything (packaging, paper, technology, grains, food …) are located in China.

2) For at least a year (also due to the pandemic) there has been a shortage of micro-components, essential for almost everything. Maybe this shortage wasn’t too bad of a problem 20 years ago, but in 2021, it’s pretty screwed up.

3) The price of electrical energy continues to rise throughout the world, due to the two aforementioned points

4) And in addition to this pre-apocalyptic panorama, there is also a shortage of containers, and there are many ships stranded on the coasts in front of the most important ports.

What can you do if tomorrow you find that the electricity does not work? That means your electric car can’t work, there’s no internet, your mobile phone is out of battery …

Is it the definitive time for all of us to go crazy and start a new Mad Max-style civilization?

Well, keep calm. In this short guide we are going to offer you some of the basic tips so that you can survive a blackout without suffering serious physical (or mental) consequences.

Step # 1: You need to have essential things on hand. Okay, to have your weed or your medical marijuana treatment near is one of the basic things, no doubt … but think about the more primal elements first, buddy.

– There will be no electricity, so you have to have something close by that allows you to “invoke” one of humanity’s oldest friends: Fire.

– This sacred element will allow you to keep warm, cook, and yes, also light your joints or hit your most appreciated bong.

So make stock of lighters (better if they are rechargeable), and universal gas cans to refill them when they run out.

Step # 2: Another primary element that will be absolutely necessary in the event of a power failure is water.

(Yes, I know, I know: Maybe you are reading this from a northern Wyoming cabin with 14 great acres of land and 2 beautiful springs of pure water, so … this point does not apply to you)

Water will not only allow you to stay hydrated and basically prevent you from dying of thirst. It is essential for cooking and washing too. So if you have your own water reserve tank, that’s great. If not, buy one. If you live in a flat or small house, then you should have a stock of large bottles of water.

Keep calm smoke weed Póster, Lámina | Compra en Europosters

Step # 3: Buy all the cans of food you can store. Avoid any type of food that may expire. Cans of fish in oil are the best option, because even if there is no blackout, you will be able to consume them a long time later. Don’t buy popcorn for the microwave or pop-tarts for the toaster (remember, THERE IS NO ELECTRICAL POWER!). The military MRE (meals ready to eat) food suply are also an excellent option: They are dehydrated food in portions that provide the necessary daily calories. There are many types of dehydrated MRE food for emergencies that you can buy for storage.

Step # 4: Get as many batteries as you can. These can be used for the radio, and some other basic household items that will be very useful. If you have car batteries or gasoline generators to have electric power, then it will be great.

Step # 5: You must have a gas stove. It’s the easiest way to cook when you don’t have electricity. On the Internet there are many options to buy this type of product, even with several reserve gas cans.

Step # 6: Communications are completely out of the picture, but you can still use one important element: the radio. What if you don’t have batteries? Well, there you can use the strength of your arm by using a basic dynamo radio.

In addition, today there are totally amazing emergency solar powered radios… With flash lights, USB chargers and connection to know the weather, or to listen to emergency warnings.

Step # 7: Yes, it’s time to talk about weed. If you are a grower with many weed plants, then it is 100% that while reading these lines you already have a contingency plan prepared with solar recharging batteries, and a strategy as solid as the best bunker. Great for you!

If you are like many others, and you have your little harvest at home … well, that can be a problem if there is no electricity, don’t you think?

There are solar batteries so that your plants do not lack light, and you can establish a drip irrigation system so that your weed does not end up drying out due to lack of water.

And most important part … step # 8: Try to keep your sanity. Yes, it may seem like a no-brainer, but if you are locked in the house without light, you can go a little crazy, especially if you live alone. Maintain a daily routine: Get dressed even when you don’t go to work, talk to your neighbors, share a joint, be courteous and kind, read some good books, practice meditation, learn to be at peace with yourself, “enjoy” chores around the house, and even go for a walk around the block.

(Well… to go for a walk maybe is not a good idea if there is also a zombie attack or something like that..)

But… unless the blackout was caused by an alien invasion, or an onslaught of cannibalistic zombies, you shouldn’t be afraid.

We hope (sincerely) that these tips have been helpful to you. If you liked this article, share it on your social networks.

But if you didn’t like it or if you think this text is bullshit, write us an angry protest email to info(at)onlineweednews.com

Peace, love, and smoke! Stay safe!

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